"Carolyn's stories are like a cozy blanket, a pair of stretchy pants, a lifetime movie, and a pint of ice cream to come home to after a DUMB! dating experience. It makes you breathe a sigh of relief and think "Phew! Its NOT just me!!!!!!". -- Ozlem (my hairdresser)

Love the blog Carolyn!! Just read every entry - it's all great! really interesting and a lot I could relate to-- it's hard for me to imagine you having any trouble meeting guys, but I love the honesty and openness of your voice.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Someone For Everyone

"Do you remember Lisa?" my brother asked. I knew she was related to us by marriage and lived somewhere in the midwest. I met her a couple of times and recalled her being an attractive woman with long, dark hair and big brown eyes. I also recalled she had a really quirky grooming habit. "Isn't she the one with the moustache she bleaches white?"

When you meet Lisa, you can't help but notice her long, bleached lip hairs. When she speaks, her breath moves the hairs up and down on her lip like vertical blinds blowing in the wind. It's so distracting that I have often wondered why no one ever mentions it to her, or why her family or friends have never suggested other options. Her hairy lip is the first thing you notice in the family photos. "She's divorcing her husband and marrying another guy," he said.

I need to get out more.

I've been working long hours on a production and have grown accustomed to the convenience of online dating sites. With emails popping into my inbox daily, I can easily arrange dates from my cell phone, in between calls, or during lulls in long meetings. However, I knew I was running out of quality options when I returned an email from "Beverly Hills Guy" who has been contacting me for months, posting pictures with his shirt off, making muscle man poses, in various cities around the world (Virtual Men).

"Email me back and I'll send you a photo," he said. Seeing multiple pictures of "Beverly Hills Guy" wearing little clothing, it was obvious that he is not a man who frequents the gym. "What else is there left to see?" I replied, after 6 months of ignoring his 'winks'. "You've left nothing for the imagination." After two quick email exchanges, I discovered (unbeknownst to him) he's in business with a Portugese man, Alejandro, who I went out with twice last year, from the same dating site...

Alejandro moved to L.A. from Lisbon. His English was not so good and I don't speak Portugese, so communication was a bit challenging. We met at a restaurant, and talked for a couple of hours. When the check came, I offered to contribute, but he declined and said, "Next time."

A few days later Alejandro invited me to dinner. Since he was new to town, he asked a couple of friends for suggestions for nice restaurants and then settled on an upscale place on the westside. We had a cocktail at the bar, before the hostess seated us and transferred the bar tab over to our table.

Alejandro works in the film business, so we talked about our favorite movies over dinner, sharing a nice bottle of red that he chose from the extensive wine list. He also mentioned he is a painter and wanted to show me some of his work. “Follow me to my place after dinner,” he said, “maybe I’ll give you a piece.”

When the check came, Alejandro stood up from the table, grabbed his jacket, and handed me the bill. He said, "After you take care of the check, follow me to my apartment so I can show you my paintings." I guess this was the 'next time' and it was my turn to pay.

I need to get off online dating sites.

So, when a friend invited me to an art gallery opening, I happily accepted. Upon arrival, she introduced me to her boss, a handsome gay male, wearing a Ralph Lauren suit. He guided me around the party and pointed out who was gay, straight, single, or married, as well as who I should approach and who I should stay away from. But, ultimately, the general consensus was the most handsome man at the event was the off-duty SWAT guy working security.

As the night wore on, I eventually made my way over to the SWAT guy, Patrick, who has a full head of salt and pepper hair, long eyelashes and a tan, friendly face. He was easy to talk to and I'm guessing most good cops probably have an ease about them that makes you feel comfortable and therefore, more prone to hearing confessions. I also imagined the flip side of his personality that takes over when he's commanding a SWAT mission.

"A friend of mine also runs a SWAT team up in Ventura County," I mentioned. I met Steve online about a year ago. We went out a couple of times, but ultimately remained friends (He's a Nice Guy, Just Not the Right Guy for Me). "Oh yeah? I probably know him. What's his name?" I told Patrick his name. "Yeah, I know him. A real pretty boy,” he said.

I need to get off of online dating sites and get out more.

Is the dating pool in Los Angeles for women my age really small or is it just a coincidence that two men in one week know men I’ve dated within the past year? I need to find a different body of water.

I thought about my cousin Lisa and her upcoming nuptials and wondered if I would ever meet the right guy. "There's someone out there for everyone," my mother says, "and eventually you will find someone too.