"Carolyn's stories are like a cozy blanket, a pair of stretchy pants, a lifetime movie, and a pint of ice cream to come home to after a DUMB! dating experience. It makes you breathe a sigh of relief and think "Phew! Its NOT just me!!!!!!". -- Ozlem (my hairdresser)

Love the blog Carolyn!! Just read every entry - it's all great! really interesting and a lot I could relate to-- it's hard for me to imagine you having any trouble meeting guys, but I love the honesty and openness of your voice.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A Date With "Rock Star"

His email said, "OK OK Finally, a profile I like! :) Before I sound like a book, please take a look at my profile. If you like what you see and read, I would love to talk". I clicked on "Marc's" profile and thought, "Oh. My. God. You have got to be kidding me!" I could never go out with a guy like this. I declined and did not return his email. A day went by and he sent another, "You are so beautiful it isn't even funny. Love the hair! I would love for you to take a look at my profile, let me know if you would be up for conversation... and you work with nonprofits, me too." OK, what woman doesn't love to hear a man call her beautiful, and this guy was being persistent. I clicked on his profile again and looked at all the glitzy photos and wondered if I could actually go through with meeting someone like Marc. I had no idea who this guy could be. There are a lot of weirdos in L.A. and he could easily be one of them.

I was never into musicians either. I dated plenty of bad boys in my 20s, so why go there again at this point in my life? Not to mention he's eight years younger than me. I am typically attracted to men my age, or older. I once dated a navy seal when I was 38 and he was 27. I was constantly doing the math in my head... when I'm 50, he'll be 39. Great, I'll be disintegrating just as he's coming into his prime. It's hard enough living in a city where 50 year-old men marry twenty-somethings, so why start off with such a big handicap?

My friend Ivo came over and I showed him all the men who had emailed, winked or added me to their favorites on this dating site. I asked him to pick out the men he thought I should pursue. I had not chosen so well for myself in the past and thought that maybe a male perspective could steer me in the right direction. He studied all the pictures and read all the emails. He weeded through them pretty quickly and narrowed his choices down to two men: a tall Latino guy named Rio... and Marc. Just then, as if on cue, another email from Marc popped into my box, "I know you're thinking about it. Come on... you're close. Let's meet for coffee." Ivo and I burst out laughing. How could I not meet this guy?

"He's got something going on," said Ivo. "That attitude at his age means the guy has security about himself, he knows who he is and that's his dream and he's living it." Ivo's words rang true. I am always saying I want to meet a man who knows who he is and has a good sense of humor. I just never thought he would come in a package like Marc.

We met for coffee at Urth cafe. I found him sitting at a small table, patiently looking around and waiting. He has a really nice face, I thought. It took about 5 minutes to realize Marc is a very sweet, smart and hilariously funny guy. He's from a small town in upstate New York, lived in Chicago for many years and moved to southern California only 2 years ago. He has been experiencing what most people go through when first moving to L.A. and that is... it's hard to find good, quality friends here.

It was Super Bowl Sunday and he had a party to go to and I had another date. Marc asked me where I was going and, since I'm not a good liar, I told him I was meeting another man from the same site. "He was really arrogant on the phone, so I'm not expecting too much," I said.

On the surface, Rio was more my type than Marc. He was tall, dark and handsome... but then again, Marc was tall, his hair is naturally brown under all that blonde hair, and he was surprisingly handsome.

I drove over the hill to Studio City to meet Rio. We met outside of Jamba Juice and I listened to Rio talk for quite some time. He's a photographer, a healer, a filmmaker, an editor, an artist and I think he also said a horse handler. He was an odd mix of arrogance and insecurity. If put to the test, I could tell you many fascinating details about Rio's life (such as why he's currently prohibited by the government from traveling outside of the country) but he probably couldn't even tell you my last name.

After 90 minutes, I left and, as I was driving home, I received a text from Marc. "Do tell. Was he arrogant? Were you right?" I thought it would be tacky to repeat anything Rio said, but one comment he made stood out in my mind, so I texted Marc back, "He and Freud think a lot alike". Marc responded, "Lol... That just made me spit out my coke".

I liked Marc but my friend Joan asked me how I could take anybody seriously who legally changed his name to
"Rock Star". Yes, Marc showed me his California driver's license and his name had legally been changed. I had to admit it seemed a little odd, but Marc and his identical, twin brother (legal name "Super Star") run a nonprofit in Chicago called We Are One, that helps get kids off of drugs. They recently completed a CD with some famous musicians to help raise money and the name change is part of their marketing ploy. However, my male friends were much more accepting. I showed the picture to my friend Chris in Scotland who said, "Cooks, that is the single greatest photo I've ever seen!!!!! Where can I get one of those guitars?" I realized Marc's not only living his own dream, but the dream of pretty much every guy I know... and in the world. "I can't believe no one did it before me," stated Marc. I agreed.

The whole thing is kind of crazy but there are many things about Marc I like, and his energy just makes me smile.

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